Rooted in Healing: Discovering Myself After Surgical Menopause
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Read Time 2 min
Almost four years ago, I had to get a full hysterectomy because my adenomyosis (a sister to endometriosis) was off the charts. I had suffered from endometriosis for decades, but I managed it pretty okay*, and even wrote a book about it. But the adeno was a whole other level of f*ckery that my body could no longer handle. And due to my countless ovarian cysts rupturing whenever they pleased (once while riding a bike), my ovaries had to leave, too.
Because of this, I was hit with menopause overnight.
While it wasn’t the easiest transition, it was way easier than dealing with the endo/adeno/ovarian cyst combo platter I was used to. I’m also really fortunate to have a great doctor and even greater family/friends (like Semaine!), so I felt somewhat prepared for what was about to come and how to manage it.
The toughest part wasn’t the “menopause symptoms” you hear about the most (hot flashes, hair changes, memory loss, rage, the dry things) – it was trying to figure out who the “new” me was.
I had spent decades ruled by my uterus and ovaries, but now that they weren’t there...I was in charge. I could make plans whenever I wanted. I could ride a bike without worrying about cysts. I could stop wondering when the pain would hit next. Yes, I could do all of that (and more).
But this power felt strange. While I should have been enjoying this freedom, it was so foreign to me that I felt lost, disconnected, and wasn’t sure how to move through the world (personally and professionally). It was a really hard and confusing year and a half after my surgery.
And then everything changed when I learned to grow cut flowers. Yes, that sounds so simple, but the change was significant! I felt more connected, experienced a new sense of calm, moved my body in new ways, felt creative again, and had a whole new set of friends. I don't know where I would be today without it.
It changed me so much that I went back to school to become a horticultural therapist, studied landscape design, and launched a company dedicated to helping others find that same transformation.
The most remarkable thing is that my story isn’t unique.
Numerous studies, books, and research have shown that gardening and connecting with nature can benefit both our bodies and minds.
Some of my favorite benefits:
Feel more hopeful
Reduce stress and anxiety
Improve patience
Feel less overwhelmed
Create new relationships / reduce loneliness
Have offline experiences / A way to get off your phone
Feel part of something
Increase movement
Create more mobility
While nature and gardening aren’t a cure for stress, loneliness, anxiety, or simply being a woman in this decade, they can be a start to finding more ease and hope. I found it when I needed it most, and I hope this message finds you when you need it most, too.
With love, Jessica
*My “okay” would have been someone else’s hell, but I felt pretty proud of myself.
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